One of the most difficult things to do if you suspect a friend or relative has an eating disorder is to confront them with your concerns. The first instinct your friend or relative will probably feel is fear – fear that you saw through their defensive facade with food. Then, they will most likely go into denial mode and may be accusatory towards you with a “how dare you think such a thing” type of mentality.

Please know that if your loved one reacts in this manner, it is a typical defense mechanism that keeps the real psychological problems secreted away in the subconscious mind. Remember, your loved one is coping with huge emotional issues, so do not take it personally if they totally deny anything is wrong.

Just offer a friendly ear should they ever want to confide in you. While you may not get anywhere with your initial confrontation, you have planted seeds in their mind about their eating behaviors.

How do you know however, if your friend or relative really does have an eating disorder? And when is it appropriate to confront them with your concerns? The answers lie in a few things you can do to educate yourself so that you can be prepared for your loved one’s reaction.

Read on for some helpful hints:

Do your research.

Learn what the warning signs are for the different eating disorders.

Understand that eating disorders are not necessarily about food, but about their daily struggles in life.

Unobtrusively observe your loved one and decide if you do indeed think they have a problem.

Choose a time to talk with your loved one about your concerns when you know there will be no disruptions.

Don’t bring it up if you are arguing or during a meal.

Do make sure to bring it up at a time when you will be able to follow through and offer continuous support. For example, don’t time the confrontation before a business trip or vacation when you’ll be out of town for any length of time.

Seek guidance for yourself on how to best handle the situation. By talking with a counselor at work, through your church or even a clinic, they can advise you on the best way to confront your loved one.

Also, be ready with contact information on the chance that they will accept your help.

Whatever happens, know that you have tried your best with your loved one. Your job now is to just be a supportive presence in their life.

They may not always acknowledge their problem right away. In fact, it may take them hitting rock bottom or having a health scare to prompt them to seek help.

Eating disorders can be treated successfully; the patient just has to want to get better.

Due to the anorexics deep inbuilt self hatred and feeling of worthlessness very often one of the side effects with anorexia is the act of self mutilation. Self mutilation is different from actually having the feeling or wanting to commit suicide, self mutilation is actually defined as the deliberate damage of body tissue.

Just as anorexia has now become a way of coping with life, self mutilation can also become a way of coping. The anorexic very often develops deep feelings of worthlessness, these often stem from childhood events, more often some sort of abuse either physical or mental or family problems.

The anorexic will seek to forget about past experiences and try to release those memories in the form of changing how they look or how they have now come to believe they look through refusal to eat.

The same can be said for self mutilation and the sufferer can gain some sort of “comfort” from actually harming themselves, believing that they deserve to be suffering. It is thought that about every 750 persons in 100,000 suffer from self mutilation every year and between 34% and 40.5% of those suffer from anorexia or a similar eating disorder.

It is thought that the self mutilator tries to get back what they see as a loss of power over themselves when they inflict harm upon themselves, this can be gained by the fact they are enduring the pain they inflict.

Often it can also be a form of punishment for themselves, the anorexic already has issues with self doubt and feelings of un-worthiness. It is thought that this is way of proving that to themselves.

Self mutilation can quickly become an obsession with increasing acts, the person actually getting used to the pain and hurting themselves more and more just to gain the satisfaction.

Cutting or burning is the most often form of self mutilation inflicted and it is extremely hard for the sufferer to stop and the person may feel agitation, paranoia and deep irritability.

The actual damage afflicted can be made much worse than intended by the use of unsanitary “materials” used to inflict the self harm, such as the use of rusty razor blades to inflict the cut.

The chances of infection setting in are greatly increased with the person already having a weak immune system through their problem with anorexia. Help should be sought for self mutilation alongside treatment for anorexia.